Friday, 25 September 2015

Book List - Prince and the Pea

If you were to go back to my old list of books, you wouldn't see this one listed. Why? Because I totally forgot about it, that's why. I found it among some old papers, and had a minor meltdown of laughter at the unexpected discovery.

I don't know why I was so interested in the "Princess and the Pea" story, but apparently I liked it enough to plagiarize it when I was like . . . 8-ish? Maybe? The spelling/punctuation/capitalization was pretty awful, but if you look closely:


you'll see that slightly-older-younger-me fixed it up with pen at some later point.

I am going to type this out for you EXACTLY as it is written. I mean, I've done that pretty much every other time, but even with my fixes, this one just takes the cake for worst punctuation. Good luck. XD

~*~*~*~*~*~

One stormy night, a prince come to the castle. Come in said the king, come in said the queen. The princess wants to marry a prince. said the king. But, he has to be a real prince. I am a real prince. said the prince. You do not look like one. said the queen who had been listening near by. But still the prince said he was a real prince. I will see if this is a real prince, said the queen. and she went to make his bed. First, the queen put a tiny pea on the bed, then she put 20 mattresses on top of the pea. Then she put 20 blankets on top of the mattresses. Your bed is ready called the queen! Good, said the prince, I'm tired!
*new page*
He is tired! said the king!
Yes, agreed the queen.
*new page*
When morning came, the king, queen, and princess asked how did you sleep? I did not sleep at all said the prince. there was a big lump in my bed! The king, queen, and princess smiled. You are a real prince the all said!
*new page*
And the prince and princess were wed the next day. And they all lived
HAPPILY EVER AFTER!
The END
~*~*~*~*~*~

Ok, you may be wondering where my rapier-like wit *coughsarcasmcough* was during that reading, but honestly, I really get a kick out of the childlike cadence of this story. "Come in said the king, come in said the queen" just kills me every time. XD

But, to make up for my lack of droll commentary, here's some pictures of the "book" for you!


Here we  see a ratty prince stumble up to the world's smallest castle, while being pelted with ... rain ... balls? And if you look closely, you can see that the tiny king and queen are ordering him to come in before he even knocks. Thirsty.


Why, what fine art. I especially love how the pillow hangs in midair off the top of the 17 mattresses. Hey, I thought she said she put 20 on there! Also, look at the doodle on the far left of the page. That's a chair. With clothes on it. He's sleeping in the nude. Maybe the king and queen should, oh, I don't know, exit?!


The king, queen, and princess all eating GIANT BOWLS of, what, like porridge or something? They're royalty, shouldn't they have something a little more grand than that? And where's the prince? They didn't invite him for breakfast? And let's not ignore the fact that the king and princess are standing on their chairs. Maybe they should invest in some furniture their own size.


"K" "Q" "P" "P" King, Queen, Princess, Prince. Get it, got it, good. I don't know why the queen only had hair in that one breakfast picture, OR why the princess has huge freaky duck lips, OR why she's significantly taller than anyone else, OR why she's the only one wearing more clothes than just a cape. But maybe that was my plan way back then?? Not to plagiarize The Princess and the Pea, but to retell it, with a prince stumbling into a nudist colony?

. . . . . Well, that just conjured up some scarring images.  I'm gonna leave now.

Did you ever plagiarize a favorite story when you were young? How did that turn out? Or have you ever read any really weird retellings of classic stories, such as one with far too many naked people?

8 comments:

  1. This is the BEST!! I wrote so many "plagiarized" stories when I was little...actually, that's probably what has made me a half-decent writer today ;)

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    1. Haha, thanks! And yeah, I suppose it IS good practice for the young, novice writer. X)

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  2. "He is very tired said the king!
    Yes, said the queen."-- I am laughing too hard!

    This was great though. Except the no clothes. O_O But when I was a kid I drew circles for the boys and triangles for the girls. The shapes served as both body and clothes. . . so they had permanent clothing.

    This was awesome!

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    1. LOL like, "Y...yes...I just said I was...." XD

      HA! Well, I'm sure they gave him something to sleep in, since his clothes were wet. X) And oh yeah! Girls were normally a triangle for me, too! I think boys were just a stick, tho. X)

      Hehe thanks!

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  3. Omigoodness, I love this so funny and cute. I think it would make a great kid's picture book. Come in said the king, Come in said the queen. That was the best, even then you had the makings of greatness in you.
    :D

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  4. Oh my gosh, nudist colony version of Princess and the Pea? That would be awesome! XD This is cute, though, and I love that you can look back on your writing and laugh. It certainly brings a smile to my face!

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    1. Hahahaha! It would be odd.
      Aw, thanks! I'm glad it was entertaining. ^.^

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